As someone who grew up with cats, I confess that I did not piece together that when a dog needs to go outside, so does the dog owner (at least while she is a puppy). Now as a puppy owner, I find myself standing out in the backyard waiting for the dog to do her business far more than I thought would ever be necessary. Between that and twice daily walks to the school pick-up/drop-off location, I have found myself standing out in the rain more than I ever imagined necessary this week. 

All the grey skies, fall leaves and rainy streets give the sense of a dreary fall movie, maybe a movie about a family coming home for Thanksgiving and being stuck together for a comedic and/or miserable weekend. 

Thanksgiving is one of those occasions that we celebrate without thinking too deeply about, lest we get lost in a vortex of existential turmoil. Think about it too much and it might start to hurt your brain. 

Taking an opportunity to give thanks for the blessings that we have received in life is certainly a worthwhile endeavour. But where does the duty to give thanks begin and end? And just what are we thankful for? 

Thankful for our material possessions, or that we aren’t unfortunate enough to be poor?

Thankful for an abundance of family and friends in our lives, or thankful that we are not alone?

Thankful because Jesus or Grandma or our 3rd-grade teacher told us to be, or thankful because of genuine gratefulness?

Thanksgiving, in that sense, is an odd occasion then. It could perhaps come across as mandatory gratefulness. Yet, gratefulness is a learned skill that needs to be practiced to truly embody it. 

It makes sense then that, as Canadians (and Americans a little later), we make sense of this occasion for gratefulness by gathering around a meal. The opportunity to eat together is the great equalizer, putting the strong and mighty next to the weak and lowly, all the same at the table. 

And even though Thanksgiving is not a church holiday, gratitude and thanksgiving are deeply connected to faith. In fact, ‘Thanksgiving’ is one of the names that we call Holy Communion. The Greek word for Holy Communion, Eucharist, means thanksgiving. In the Eucharist, we pray, giving thanks to God for all that God has done for us. Yet we also recognize that our thanks are insufficient. Somehow, God still comes and joins us to the Body of Christ in the Bread and Wine. 

The true Thanksgiving might just be that of God towards us. God’s faithfulness toward and gratefulness for creation. 

Maybe that is the best way to understand Thanksgiving. We can never express our true gratitude and thanks to God for this life of abundance, but God’s love and gratefulness given for our sake make true Thanksgiving possible.

Recently, I wrote about an article published in The Atlantic magazine entitled “The Misunderstood Reason Millions of Americans Stopped Going to Church” by Jake Meador. You can read last week’s eNews here if you missed it. 

The Atlantic article argued that the shape of American (also Canadian) life has changed to focus on individual achievement and productivity. This focus on ‘workism’ has pushed religion (or other forms community) aside as most people are seeking meaning and purpose in these individualistic pursuits. 

In response, my point was that the church needs to be a place that pushes back against the message that our value is found only in what we achieve and produce. 

But what does that look like to stand in opposition to the dominant cultural narratives of our world? How do we tell a different story about the meaning to be found in our lives?

Well, I am not so sure that it is an obvious thing for most churches. I think that many congregations struggle with trying to be an alternative to the powerful forces of post-modern life. In fact, so strong is the message of individual achievement in our lives, that many churches often end up amplifying the message of the importance of career and lifestyle success.

Most people unquestioningly try to do a good job in the work they do, try to provide a good life for their families, and seek to have some measure of enjoyment on the side. We can put a lot of our energy into the homes we live in, cars we drive, trips we take, hobbies we spend our time at. And there is nothing inherently wrong with those things. 

The problem is in defining our value and worth, seeing the core of our identity in whether or not we are successful at these things. Success can be a relatively arbitrary thing. The difference between things going well for us or things being hard for us can often be a matter of just plain luck. 

And rather than pushing back against finding our identity in success, churches can even try to measure themselves by the same yardstick. Most congregations try to measure their success in the number of people who cross the threshold of their doors, the amount of offering in their offering plates and the ability to maintain their church building. 

Often congregation with the biggest numbers of attendees, biggest budget and biggest staffs, end up being some if the chief promoters of the idea that our value is found what we achieve. Being “successful” infects their Gospel message, tying God’s love to their achievements in attracting people, to their obedience to “God’s will” , to the faithfulness they display and to how much they tithe. 

Strangely, congregations that might appear to be middling or failing at numerical and financial success often provide the biggest contrast to our world’s dominant narrative. These are communities of folks committed to one another. Their worship might not be the flashiest, their budgets hanging on by a shoe-string, their programs might not be the trendiest. These kinds of churches are people that come together in community even though it takes work and effort, with everyone chipping in to make it happen… all for the sake of the Gospel. These churches cannot help but stand against the narrative that tells us are value is found in what we can achieve on our own. 

And that is the point, because being part of a community of people that are committed to one another is unusual. Being part of a group that not only makes space for each member to contribute, but needs all of its various members in order to function. That means belonging to a community that tells us our value and identity is already assured by God and not by our own effort. This is strange thing in our world.

And oddly enough, the life-giving ministry that we have to offer to the world just might involve offering a strong contrast and alternative to the world. To proclaim in our imperfect and flawed community that the God of all creation gives us value and meaning as people. God declares us beloved children regardless of what we do, but because of who God has made us to be. 

At the beginning of August, there was an article published in the The Atlantic magazine on ‘The Misunderstood Reason Millions of Americans Stopped Going to Church’ by Jake Meador. In pretty short order, the article was widely shared on social media. People were talking about it online, writers were writing about it. 

The article begins by noting a significant percentage of Americans have stopped going to church (12% or 40 million) over the previous 25 years. Why this is happening has been of significant concern and importance to religious leaders, as well as interest to sociologists.

While many would point to corruption and abuse scandals that have plagued the church (sexual abuse, residential schools, pandemic restrictions, etc…), the most predominant reasons that sociologists are finding are more mundane.  

The central thesis of the article is that the shape of American life has changed to be productivity and achievement focused. Many have shifted their lives to find identity and meaning in jobs and work – workism as the article calls it. Truths that ring true for Canadians as well. 

Because of this social shift from community life to individualistic pursuits, people have generally become lonelier and more anxious, forgetting how to live in community. 

As I have pondered this question for almost two decades now, this feels like a diagnosis that gets much more deeply to the heart of the matter. The easy answers like youth sports and dance, Sunday shopping and laziness are inadequate to the question of why people are drifting away from church. There is something deeper in the way we are living as a society that is causing us to forget how to be a community in ways that seemed effortless and natural not that long ago. 

(Side note: It has to be stated that economic forces have made us more work- focused since the 70s. Rising inequality and wage stagnation has meant that single income earner households dealt with the increasing cost of living by adding more income earners. More simply put, wives and mothers who once stayed at home and could devote weekday time to the church (or school or community group) now MUST work because minimum wage has been kept low, jobs have been outsourced and corporations have suppressed wages for the sake of profit.)

As people have less and less time for activities and relationships outside of work, active participation in a church becomes a cost-benefit calculation. Sunday morning still remains one of the few work-free times in most people’s lives. Church is now just one of many competing options for precious leisure and personal time, which is spent with more careful discernment. Especially as many people are losing the relational skills of being in community. 

Ironically, church is the antidote to workism, which fails to bring meaning and purpose in our lives. Church communities – at our best – proclaim a reality in which our worth and value, our meaning and purpose come from outside of our own efforts. They are determined by God, granted by love, and indelibly given. Of course, at our worst, churches succumb to the achievement and productivity narratives by measuring ourselves by how many members we used to have and how big our budgets used to be. 

Even as our society shifts away from communities (like church) being central in the way we live our day-to-day lives, the answer isn’t for churches to slowly fade away. Rather, congregations and faith communities are more needed than ever. It is clear that workism is not working for us. Pinning our worth and value to what we achieve is one of the things causing division and strife in our world. 

Churches are needed to offer a counter example, to be an alternative vision of what life could be in the 21st Century. To be people and communities gathered together by the grace and mercy of God who loves us freely and ferociously. To hear stories that give our lives meaning, grounded in the promises of resurrection and new life. 

To keep being what Jesus called us to be from the very beginning – God’s beloved people, the Body of Christ. 

Sometime in June, I was invited into a “secret” Facebook group made up of people I knew from high school. The group was organized for planning a surprise retirement party for my high school band teacher. At first I was shocked to see that my band teacher wasn’t long retired already. I quickly reverse engineered the math, looking at some photos posted in the group and I realized that when I was in high school band between 1998 and 2001, my band teacher was about the age I am now…. He seemed older in my mind in high school… because surely 16 year olds wouldn’t think I am old now, right? Right!?!?

Anyway, my beloved band teacher was a lot like Mr. Holland from Mr. Holland’s Opus, the 1995 movie staring Richard Dreyfus. He even looked like Richard Dreyfus in the movie, with wire-rimmed glasses, a mustache and the same haircut. He loved making music, and in his 40 years of teaching band he inspired a  A LOT of students to keep pursuing music. Even my sister became a band teacher!

Some of my most formative memories were from band. I was in the symphonic band, a class that had double the usual class periods. This meant I spent a class period every day playing music (and one day twice!). My band teacher expected excellence, but also taught us how to make beautiful music together. He also took us all over the world. We travelled to Red Deer, AB, Whistler,BC, Anaheim and Disneyland, Germany and Italy. These trips are some of my most cherished memories from high school. 

His retirement party was going to be similar to that in the Mr. Holland movie. In other words, former students would come back so that my band teacher could conduct a band with all kinds of students playing much of the music he used with his high school bands. 

I saw some videos of the event and it looked pretty special. The music room had moved from where I remember it to the old automotive wing, but my band teacher looked the same as ever (except for the grey hair). 

But I also had a weird feeling watching the videos. It was a combination of sadness and longing, maybe some nostalgia. I realized that this time in my life, these amazing memories of making music with friends and classmates was never going to happen again. At least not the way it used to be. 

I already had a taste of that feeling following high school when I joined a community band. I loved that band, too; but it wasn’t quite the same. The people were different and we practiced only a couple hours one night a week. We played some of the same music, but we didn’t play in the same way.

I have been thinking a fair bit about these kinds of experiences this summer. Maybe it is because I am 40, or going back to seminary this fall (and the seminary buildings have moved, too!). Maybe it’s seeing my children growing up, especially as we have moved houses and they have changed schools. 

I think it is also part of the reality of serving in ministry. As a pastor I get to be a part of significant and memorable moments in people’s lives. Baptisms, confirmations, weddings, funerals. It is not uncommon (especially in summer vacation season) for people to come around with their own strong memories of these important life events. In these situations I am on the other side of those memories, the new and unfamiliar person who can only (kind-of, sort-of) offer a version of the Church that isn’t quite the same as it used to be. I have heard lots of stories of past weddings and funerals, stories of my pastoral predecessors, stories of youth events and young adults doing silly things or finding love, stories of former Sunday School teachers and organists and youth leaders. 

My usual response has been to point to what the Church is now, what it has become. And it is true, even as the people change, as the activities and programs adapt, the mission of proclaiming the Gospel remains. But that doesn’t make the longing and sadness easier. 

So, having been reminded of that feeling, I know I will be more sensitive and empathetic to the stories of what the Church used to be. I suspect that this is something that all of us will have to do from time to time. But also it’s important  to remember that the ways in which we are living as a community, the music we are making (so to speak and literally), the youth trips to CLAY, the baptisms, confirmations, weddings and funerals happening now, will be significant life-long memories for folks down the road.

Hopefully, these memories will not only remind us of God’s enduring presence and love in our lives, but also will keep us connected and returning to this community that doesn’t end after confirmation, high school or youth group or getting married or when a loved one dies. May this community be one of the few places in our world that continues to be a place where memories are made, yet where we can keep coming back to our whole lives.