Every so often, I find myself in a situation where someone is trying to figure out who I am and what I do. Maybe at a funeral, or a community event, sometimes when meeting other clergy from other denominations. One particular conversation stands out for me when I was serving at Messiah in Camrose, Alberta as the Senior Pastor of a large congregation. Upon meeting another minister in the community our conversation went as follows:

“Nice to meet you, Erik. So what do you at Messiah?”

“I am the pastor.”

“Oh? Is this your first call, just newly ordained?”

“Nope, this is my second call.”

“Oh, okay! So do you have a specific portfolio, like youth pastor?”

“Nope, I am the Senior Pastor”

“Oh wow really, the SENIOR Pastor! Really? Like in-charge-of-the-whole-congregation SENIOR Pastor?”

“Yup, that’s me. The SENIOR Pastor”

Now, fortunately, these types of conversations don’t happen all that often to me (ask my wife how often she is asked whether she is the daughter or granddaughter of a patient at the hospital, even while she is in a clerical collar). I don’t know if it is that I look young, or unsuitable to be a pastor to some folks. But it can be an odd feeling to encounter someone who cannot fathom that you are filling the role that you do. 

I imagine that people in all kinds of occupations encounter similar kinds of situations, yet I do know that if I were 20 years older, my beard grey and my tattoos covered up, I would fit the expected image of what a pastor looks like. 

The jobs we do, the professions we practice, and the vocations we bear are often such an integral part of our identity that it is more than just amusing or an annoyance for the folks around us to see us differently than we understand ourselves. It is questioning who we are at the core of our being, which can bring all kinds of discomfort and uncertainty. 

In this 3rd week in Advent, John the Baptizer is questioned in this way. The other religious leaders around him want to know how he fits into their world.  

As he is questioned about who he is, presumably so that the priests and Levites might control him or condemn him, John defers to the identity – the calling – given to him by God. 

John makes it look easy; but finding that grounding to root our sense of self is difficult. Those of us who aren’t called to be desert prophets live in worlds of community where our identities are constantly being refined against the perceptions of the people we interact with each day. Who we are can often depend on how the people around us treat us – on whom our family, friends, colleagues, and neighbours tell us we are. 

As we come to this middle portion of Advent, we shift from questions of cosmic meaning to finding refuge in the wilderness to wondering just who we are in this world. It is not an easy journey, but it is a path that is leading us to incarnation.  This path is leading us to Messiah, the one who is coming into our world in order to be close enough to look us in the eye and remind us again of who we are – God’s beloved.